'I Would 100 Percent Do It All Again,' A First-Time Hypnobirthing Story

pics: Captured by Callah

Birth in our society is viewed so negatively. We are shown awful images on TV and everyone around us likes to tell us their birth horror stories. These very things were a huge part of why I developed an intense fear of pregnancy and birth. Once I figured out that I had a phobia of pregnancy and birth and began to understand the roots of it, I began to recognize that I needed to completely shift everything I’d ever learned or heard about pregnancy and birth, if I was ever going to do it myself. Part of my phobia of pregnancy and birth, was deeply rooted in medical interventions that lead to loss of control over my body. I knew that a natural birth was what would be best for me; so I could feel in control of the process the entire time.

So, I began researching everything I could about physiological birth. Completely undisturbed, uninterrupted, natural birth; outside of a hospital setting. I knew I wanted a care team who would respect my body, my wishes and my goals around my birth. During my research, I dove pretty deep into midwifery care and doula support. I assembled my midwifery team and found a doula who I liked, and chose to birth at a freestanding birth center.

My preparation for natural birth involved continuing to weight lift without changing my routine. I continued to lift heavy weights and focused on good nutrition. I worked with a fitness coach who helped me focus on pregnancy appropriate core work and who trained me on what exercises to do to help my body be in the best position possible to endure labor. I saw a pelvic floor physical therapist and a Webster certified Chiropractor to ensure my body was in good alignment, so baby would be in optimal birthing position. I did unconventional childbirth education classes; ones that focused on the physiological process and how birth can be done naturally. I took Hypnobirthing to learn relaxation and breathing techniques as well as meditations to use during labor.

On September 17th, 2023, three days after my “guess date,” I woke up early in the morning, about 3 am, with what felt like mild period cramps. I had been spotting the day prior and my spotting had increased during the time my cramping began.

I woke up at 8 am and told Ryan (my husband) what was happening. We both agreed we should call the birth center and talk to the midwife. The midwife confirmed I was in early labor. I reminded her again about my family history of precipitous labor. She reassured me I can come in whenever I want to and get checked if I feel the need but also that there was the possibility I could be in early labor for several hours to several days. I called my doula and let her know that things were starting.

My husband and I decided to take our dog for his morning walk together to see if movement would pick things up a bit. During this time, my surges (contractions) picked up in strength and duration, very quickly. I went from light period cramping, to surges that required me to have stop and focus on them to get through them. At this point, I was feeling them in my lower back, so I felt the need to really stretch my back out during them. Leaning over something and pushing my hips back felt the best.

We got back in the car to drive home from our walk and that’s when things started to get real. Sitting was the most uncomfortable position for me and this was the first time I felt the intensity and power starting to pick up. I focused on my breath to cope. Ryan suggested we call the midwife as soon as we get home as he could tell things has shifted quite quickly. He felt we needed to head to the birth center, as we had a 45 minute drive ahead.

When we got home, I spent my time leaning over our ottoman; my body wanted to be in hands and knees position. I texted my doula to let her know I was calling the birth center back because I felt like I couldn’t get a break and it felt like things were starting to move really quick. Maybe I was too far into labor to even have a concept of time but it didn’t feel like I was getting five minutes between surges at all. It felt like I would MAYBE get 30 seconds to a minute break between surges before another started; and it stayed that way until I pushed. I called the birth center back and told my midwife I thought I needed to come in. She supported my decision.

The drive to the birth center challenged me more than any part of my birth. Sitting was completely uncomfortable and my surges were picking up. I used a TENS unit to help distract me and to lessen the discomfort in my lower back. I put on a Hypnobirthing track to focus on to help me relax. I don’t remember that drive at all. I had my eyes closed and was totally inward the whole time. I used my surge breathing to focus on not tensing up during surges. The only movement I could do was moving my head and feet so I found some comfort in neck rolls, wiggling toes and moving my feet back and forth against the floor mat.

We got to the birth center at about 12:30 PM. My midwife recognized very quickly that we were probably farther along than we thought; based on how I was presenting during surges. She decided to check me. In my birth plan I was very specific that I didn’t want to know how far along I was. However, something told me to let that go and let her tell me. I was 8 whole centimeters! I had made it to transition already! I was planning a water birth so I asked her to fill the tub and get me in there ASAP. I needed the water to cope and felt that my baby was going to show up soon.

The tub felt amazing. Ryan and the midwife spent time pouring hot water over my back as I was on hands and knees. Not long after getting in the tub I felt a “pop.” My water had broken! From there, I went on a wild ride through labor land. I was present but not. All the beautiful natural hormones that are able to flow from our own brains when we allow our body to birth unmedicated had taken over. They were helping me relieve the discomfort while also keeping labor flowing and intense. Between surges, I would hold eye contact with my doula or Ryan. For some reason, it grounded me to the room and helped me feel safe to have their eye contact. After the birth, Ryan and I were processing it together and he commented on how he could tell I had natural “drugs” flowing through me.  He said, “you must have really had those hormones running through you because you looked like you were really high. I’ve never seen that look on your face before.” 🤣

Not long after my body started to push all on its own! It’s true what they say; you know when it’s time because there is literally no way you can’t push! I was experiencing the Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER); which is exactly what I was hoping would happen. I didn’t want any coached or forced pushing. It was a deep, guttural power that took over.

I spent the next 20 mins leaning into each surge. I felt my baby moving down with each breath. I used my down breathing I learned in Hypnobirthing to relax my jaw and to focus on making each surge count with a big, huge breath out that allowed me to help the FER be more effective. I don’t feel like I ever actually “pushed.” I would focus on blowing out my exhales, like I was blowing up the toughest balloon I’d ever blown up.

My baby coming out was the wildest experience. Pushing actually felt really good; it was a relief that I was almost done. Once my midwife said, “the head is out,” it was game on! I kept my down breathing going with as much power as I could, and just kept thinking, “you’re doing this and you’re almost done. Get the job done!” My 9 pound 9.5 ounce baby boy came out and was placed in my arms. I just kept screaming “OMG, OMG” in complete disbelief, power and amazement of myself. I couldn’t believe I had just done that!

I pushed my big baby out in less than 20 minutes at 2:20 PM. Just short of two hours after getting to the birth center. I had no tearing; which I contribute to the position I pushed in, the use of the water, and using all my breathing techniques to “breathe” my baby out rather than forcefully pushing him out.

At NO point would I say that my birth was too painful. I wouldn’t say it was completely pain free, as there were moments where I struggled to cope (AKA that darn car ride). During those moments my frustration would kick in a bit. But I never let my thoughts drift to, “this hurts” or “I’m in pain.” I remembered to focus on more positive thoughts that would be more helpful to my end goal. So I focused on, “it’s harder for me to get comfortable than I thought it would be.” Counting and focusing on my breathing helped the most. I would make my exhales really strong and I would picture blowing out any discomfort during my exhales which also helped. I never once wished I had pain medication during this whole experience. It was never too much or too overwhelming. I felt in total control throughout everything and totally leaned into my body and let it do it’s thing.

I would 100 percent do it all again; the exact same way. I have never felt more powerful in my entire life! I’m still walking around acting like a damn superhero; I’m still so amazed with what me and my body accomplished that day. My birth was a damn dream! It was everything I manifested and more! 

​​Flutterby is located in the Twin Cities, and provides Hypnobirthing as well as other classes and services for expectant families. Erin Stertz-Follett, Flutterby's Owner, is a Certified Consulting Hypnotist, Certified Hypnobirthing Educator, and Certified Birth Doula who has taught and assisted hundreds of families. Email her at [email protected] with any questions. Sharing is caring!